"), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. How come you didnt come to watch this match? If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. We had a really nice time. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? 2. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Look him in the eyes and smile. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. . This is a very interesting discussion for me. I teach high school. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Second, he must know you well. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. It may not display this or other websites correctly. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. He remembers things that you tell him. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). 2. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. 15. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. "I know how you feel". Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. So happy for us! . If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. And thats enough for me. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Who determines the meaning of words? One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. "You make me so mad.". Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . I was irritated by that remark. 03:48. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. 2. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Be proud of who you are. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). Thank you for starting this. What is BBC Future? Talents Compliments. But this will be seen as an overreaction. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. It isnt. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. 2014, 2016, 2019. I'm so proud of your painting!" Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful "I wish I had met you. 1. In what context? He's proud of you. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. 2. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. ". They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. B Blue Apple Senior Member (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! by Carolyn Steber. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! But to be proud of them? 26. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. I am here for the same reason. 25. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. 1. A very concise and articulate post. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? Its probably contempt and anger. Thank you for your kind words.. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. I don't think you . As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Future Planet. 3. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". 4 . Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. I have always struggled with this word. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? But this seems less common. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. "How long have you been sober?". Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Pause before responding. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. You must log in or register to reply here. Just let them be. 12. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. Lost Index. PJ. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. I still think she was doing this at the time. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. 10. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. Oh, thank you, friend. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . You look so much better!". We learn from every step we take. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. 1. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. . It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Youre like my sister from another mother. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. . She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. I believe you. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. I say it often to former students. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? Go To Homepage. Fascinating post in two regards. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . That makes you a living miracle. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. 3. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. 7. I feel virtually murderous towards them. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. 3. All rights reserved. Youll feel mad and resentful. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her.

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