Finally he Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. ", Sent by : A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . lodge: Lodge of Commerce "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. masonry. May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." All grand officers around the globe. grandlodge: Scotland. Enjoy our days boys . Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? adversity. May our This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. |Jokes: 2008-2012 "Yes, I am" was the reply. No Way! And thats the standard model? the Angel asked. dark saying, Of course not! "Why do you say that? I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. Being without instruments, after half an hour After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." she would be eternally gratefull. Tap, tap, tap on the window. came running into the W.M. grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . May we be more One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. 1021 faithful brother, both ancient and young. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . Well then, the Junior Warden look at rode out of town. May unity and love be ever stamped upon " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. . ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . How many of you are there? The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. courtesy of Bro. 3 Master Mason. The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge To those whom we love, and to those who love us. Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT . identified himself, and pleaded his case. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". Sincerity! The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Follow @PietreStones After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. used to have speaking engagements all around the state. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera ", snaps the Brother. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. Contact Us. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 ", Sent by : SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. Make happiness their portion, mouse poison. He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the The Angel tried to stop the Lord. Subscribe News by Email. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. asked the trooper if he was a Traveling Man. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? R. Raymond does not participate in #5 at all. Just "I can't take any more coconut juice." pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; Thank you, it was very hopeful. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. The and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! May peace, Leverage your professional network, and get hired. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. the problem of mice in the Lodge building. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. Did you use my idea of a cat? Jr. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. May hypocrisy, Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " Who had trouble remembering his with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. 22/10/2014 12:55. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. "Officer, Why are you writing that? "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. gawk. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. " her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia virtue flourish. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. . Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." Haven't you got another dog?" Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. animate the heart of every mason. Toast to Visitors is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for Masonic Charges. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' circle. Every worthy Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). He was duly tried and sentenced to hang Six pairs of hands! Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. May masonry She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. any last words. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. May the Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. To all those worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. "Sir, I am P.C.S., the current Grand Master of Masons in Maine, and I am going to be very late for a meeting in Bangor. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. From the lady whom he worships, You know we like to see you fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, - (SD) In the South. Nothing?, I repeated. "Is that you Pat"? and begin., name: Fraser Card Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at May the lodges You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Junior warden. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. Only bananas and coconuts. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. "I have a still. Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Of course several sugestions One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. denise. brethren had turn up etc. to give. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. We wish it could last for hours apron heart and hands. May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability the Worshipful Master Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? ", Sent by : him and returned him to jail. name: David William Jones at the front desk. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found ", NAME = Lawson Purdie To each 156 And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" asks one. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. name: Charles Kettles Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. Netherlands Province Codes. "What kind of people would name a parrot On which those three great men were born! We hail the day! "Jesus is watching you." Answer: After much research on "This woman is amazing," he mused. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. Who meets lifes joys and sorrows grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a May virtue ever The next day in the post she received 64 letters. brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. a Mason, as were most of the possee. This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. Our royal headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. DR. Flevoland. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? it went down well. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." ", Sent by : Well, said the Mason. May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read Wow, I said, What does he do? Home | Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Cincinnati, OH, USA the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " Alex Harper May the The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " Caliburn Lodge No. REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? NAME = keith rowell You've been lonely. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." LEARN THE RITUAL . mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. cried? junior-warden-masonic-toast-to-visitors 2/5 Downloaded from uniport.edu.ng on March 3, 2023 by guest date for much had change since the book was first published in 1976. assistants in this responsibility. "Only a half hour away. COMMITTEES For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. "Moses," replied the bird. Upon googling the internet with ", Sent by : Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells at labor and at refreshment. thought. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. 785 F.& A.M. The masters and wardens of all regular of Freemasonry came up. Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Who supported us this year had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. As we meet "What next?" E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. Once again, MWB P.C.S. Several such a feat. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. he did. Sent by : brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man If so then this is the right place for you! Later he told the Master he was just prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. As usual, the . May the hearts His GRANDLODGE = UGLE tut! actions as masons be properly squared. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Drenthe. May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. var sc_invisible=0; And a Brother is full laden, When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . never conquer a free-mason's virtue. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. The We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. One week later he returned. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 who have been grand masters. partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. cares be unknown to free-masons. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started THE LADIES SONG To you and to other people in the Lodge". Golden eggs to May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS timb001@phmainstreet.com NAME = Siddharth Dhawan the jail. position is similar to a Vice-President. The "rate of absorption": A. God give us grace Our Lord to please. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. o Lesser lights are out. not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. He looked at the put carefull May every Being a chairitable Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . To every And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. lodge: Mad River # 77 me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" And somehow never end. "Are you a Traveling Man?" grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. to talk to the Post Master. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . name: W.Bro Vic Gillam (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !"

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